sometimes you wake up

sometimes the fall kills you

and

sometimes when you fall,

you fly

-neilGaiman

i'll let it all out

satu waktu. saat gw duduk di mobil. gatau mau kemana. dan tiba tiba otak ini mengeluarkan memori memori tahun lalu yang...yah bisa dibilang nyelekit dihati. yang bikin gw sendiri mikir "wow!gila! ternyata gw bisa sekuat itu juga". jarak event event yang sangat amat amat menyenangkan dan yang sangat amat amat menyedihkan itu berdempetan sekali kalau diingat.

saat dimana kakak gw menemukan pasangan hidupnya, dimana gw ngeliat keluarga gw semua nangis bahagia. dimana gw tau, bahagianya hidup gw sekarang yaAllah.

dan

saat dimana gw kehilangan sosok yang sangat amat amat gw kagumi. kehilangan sosok yang menurut gw tersempurna yang pernah gw kenal. dan ini diakui oleh banyak orang. inilah saat dimana gw tau, hidup gw akan berubah, TOTAL.

kehilangan seorang ayah yang gw fikir gw bisa meluk dia saat dia menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya.yang gw pikir gw bisa denger kata kata "papa sayang ira" untuk terakhir kali nya. but God didn't allow me to had those moments.

dan ya saat itu, flashback kehidupan gw bersama papa 16 tahun langsung terputar lagi semua di otak. gimana manjanya gw dulu. gimana ga bersyukurnya gw dulu. dan gimana papa sayang banget sama keluarganya.

mencoba buat berfikir positif karena kehilangan, i got another flashback. satu malem, abis solat, gw doa, minta tolong sama Yang DiAtas supaya dibantuin jadi dewasa dan mandiri. beberapa bulan kemudian, Yang Maha Esa manggil papa. oh well, mungkin ini jawaban dari Yang DiAtas dan mungkin satu satunya cara supaya gw bisa dewasa. gw terima.

dan berhasil. gw ngerasain betapa berubahnya gw sekarang. gw ngerasa lebih bersyukur dan lebih punya rasa empati ke orang orang.

emang sih ampe sekarang gw masi sering mikir "coba kalo papa masi disini...coba kalo papa ada...bla bla bla".

but Someone said to me that my dad's watching me now, and i know he's right. he is.

satu pesan.
bersyukur ya orang tuanya masih lengkap. :)


maaf atas ke-menye-an posting gw kali ini. kangennya ga ketahan banget.

better with(out) you

you probably dont need to read this

i think i screw everything up. i feel like I'm in a really BIG mess right now. i say nothing but mumbles. i do nothing but sleep like a fat grandma. i feel nothing but useless. I TOTALLY HATE THIS SITUATION I GOT HERE! HELP!!!!

YES! i DO need help!

i even made my BESTfriend hates me! who am i?

EERGH! i need to find myself a psychiatrist! immediately! NOW!




inhale....






exhale....

so little time

pardon me. im in a very busy situation here. AS LEVEL EXAMINATION. yet again, i'll get murdered by papers. different with IGCSE, AS LEVEL is such a disaster! i mean it. well, i found my hair starts to suicide, they jump from my head to the floor, or shoulder, it IS high for a hair-_____-

So! wish me luck, wont you?

unconciously,
ALMIRA

random thoughts

sometimes, in a really unpredictable time, i could think about some words. words that i really want to write it here, to the public. to let them know about what I feel. but just in snap, by a just a little disturbance, i forgot about it. sucks i know.

I, personally, really want to write a book. a book about what i feel. because nowadays i feel like nobody (NOBODY!) understand me. and now, i just realized that NOBODY will ever ever (EVER!) understand you, except yourself! and i think by writing, or typing about what i feel and make it into one book will make me , well, better. but pardon me, i am NOT a good writer. I'm a terrible writer. but I'll let you guys know what i feel right now, what i want you guys to learn from me, and also why you shouldn't read my blog (kidding!).

1. ........ *okay maybe putting numbers like having an answer sheet here is not a good idea. I'll start just with a paragraph. the smooth one. yes, that will be very very nice*

okay. LIFE. EL-AI-EF-EE. maybe im just too young to talk about this. but HEY! *im turning 17 this year! * everybody have their own chance to talk about their opinion about their life!.

lets start. life for me is like a journey, bla bla bla blaaaahhh......................... lets think out of the box. life is a simple "walk". a reeaaallly simple one. why should we make it so damn complicated? let me listed those things that we need to have for this simple "walk" called LIFE:
*lets start with that number thingy*

1. make sure you have your "legs" in a fit condition. make sure its strong enough to "bring" you everywhere you need to "go"
   
2. get your right clothes on! no, don't wear hot pants and tanks when you're going to "walk" through the "mountains". and no, don't wear leather jacket, woolen-long-warm pants when you're going to "walk" through the "deserts".
3. and the last but not least. keep your feet on the track, please. i remind you. go beyond the boundaries? not a good idea, thanks

you guys got what i mean? well. lets me explain those lists to you
*here we go again*

1. what i mean by legs are you mind, soul, body that will support your self to get through this life. if you have one of those things in a bad condition, take a break of life. get a vacation. so you could make it balance.
   
2. what i mean by this sentence is to know where you are actually and make sure you adapted to that environment nicely. know where you are, know what should and shouldn't you say, know you dressed nicely.
   
3. *another* what i mean by that sentence is, keep being yourself.keep on believing things on the way you think. keep on the good things. stay away from the bad.

yeap. just those things. just be your self. just take everything easy, enjoy. i believe you'll get the best in life.

and why do i talk about life once again?! mpppfff...

im trying to move on
i know i can
but something
really unexpected not even visible
it comes
and it shakes every step i take

please.move on.:')

im talking to myself

i'd like to compare life as a journey. yeah it IS a journey. but for me its more like a car journey. you have points of interest to be visited which are your goals There are lot of things to be passed for you to reach your destinations. it ain't easy.trust me. lots of traffic jams, drivers who drives you mad. and each represents things that will blocked your ways. the harder the obstacles are, the more graceful you will be when you reach you goals.

well, dogs mark their area by their pee
i mark my area by toothbrush

i know i've got to let it go and just enjoy the show
Lenka- The Show

miss you but am tryin not to cry
mariah carey-bye bye

aku terlalu disibukkan oleh pikiranku

this is, however, the new phase of my life.
my dad leave me not because he dont love me.
he leave me because he wants me to be more mature.
to be much stronger than before.
just. in a different way.

i love you dad
as always